Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
