In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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