I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Quick, to the slutcave!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
