And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
