shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
