he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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