i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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