part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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