That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
