we have officially lost it.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
