We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
