I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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