some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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