is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
