As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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