No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
did i just pee glitter
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
