so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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