He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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