they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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