This girl is more easily done than said...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
