Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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