i can't believe i had my finger in that
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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