so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
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There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
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The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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