Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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