Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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