i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Please, let me fuck your mom
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize