Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
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We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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