I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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