I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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