oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
