Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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