Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
