Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize
