if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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