I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Randomize