tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Every concussion has its silver lining
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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