I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize