just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We need to get me chipped asap
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
