i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
3 2 1 whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize