i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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