I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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