she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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