God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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