Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
