literally had 100 drinks last night.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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