If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize