All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i believe in u and ur pee
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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