that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
