Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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