and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
