yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
