I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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