very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
