there's paper in my vomit.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
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