Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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