I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Randomize