You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I need to wash the frat house off of me
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
