Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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